Are there things in life where we become so accustomed to that its hard to change?

I’ve always been a person who loved having people around all the time. I like the fact that the next moment is totally unpredictable. Who knows what the other person will say or do.
Since I’ve into my own place I’ve always had people come and stay and at any one time there could be 10 people living around my space. I’ve never had an issue with sharing anything.
I dont know if its due to the issues that I’m facing now that makes me perfer to be alone, not alone in the spinnster sense but I really enjoy my own company especially when I’m sleeping. I love spreading my body all over my bed and not having to hear anyone elses sleeping noises. I hate been awoken, I hate been spoken to at 4 something in the morning, only not to be able to go back to sleep. How am i suppose to operate as a normal human being if I’m being subjected to these conditions!?!!
I was planning to take the opportunity of taking a REAL break during the scarce school holidays, so therefore is it selfish of me not to want to spend it looking after little children and sibblings?
I love my family and there is no questioning about that, but theres more of a need these days to focus on my own comfort before anyone elses.
Family are great! They’re probably the only people in the world who claim to love you closest to unconditional, but i think the only way the make that work is to keep them close but far enough to be able to space yourself from them.
A few weeks ago, I was contemplating the possibility of moving home. I found comfort in the idea of someone cooking and cleaning for me. But with every benefit there is a down side. Most likely somewhere along the lines of mother bitching about me not cooking and cleaning, and sibblings rocking up into my room whenever the hell they wanted, no boys allowed…. the list goes on and on…
At least me living alone there is only 1 real hardcore downside… and that is being super poor,
I guess I could work hardcore styles this summer and make alot of money. Then travel or do something super adventurous.
There is an up coming humanitarian mission run through the school, where we’ll be visiting villages in Burma and Thailand, researching conditions and hopefully advocating for their basic human rights to be restored. I think this will be an extremely awesome experience and something I’ve always wanted to do… cash is always an issue. Maybe I can fundraise for my trip….
Anyways the sun is rising, I might go for a jog or something. No point wasting my ‘up early’ morning!

Recently i heard through the grape vine that my journal enteries were ‘too deep’ so ive decided to have 2 kinda posts.
For thoes of you whom are blessed with intellegence and an enquiring mind I will post the official journal enteries from my philosophy class. And for those (dairy product this is a special shout out to you!) whom are a little more challanged than the average, I will write in plain casual homy g language.
hahahaha

anyways it has been over a week since i posted my super happiness for the world to see, and since then I have been in the shits…
i dont know if i wrote it but they say that when you are super happy and u cant pinpoint why its usually aa sign that disaster is about to strike. Just like when the tsunami hit the shores of the asia-pacific, the weather was reported to be extremely good and the sea extremely calm, and then the worse occured.
since hightened happiness, i have experienced hightened sadness.
See im a person who almost always lives based on principles, sure I’ve cheated on people and stolen peoples boyfriends, but I have learnt from these mistakes and maybe that is what has derived me at this point where principles means the world to me.
The reason for this highlighting of morals and principles is last week, a guy made plans to go out with me, but then never called…
I have been toying with various reasons as to why he didnt call.
1) he didnt want to go out with me, finds me repolsive and would rather bang a raccon then sleep with me.

Rebuttal: but then why did he ask me out? why did he enthusiastically make plans to see me?

2) he got soooo drunk that he forgot all about me (because he was going to a footy match before supposably meeting up with me)

Rebuttal: if he really liked me then wouldnt he have looked forward to seeing me all day!? I sure did!

3) his gf was aroung him all day so there was no chance to call me or message me.

Rebuttal: why does he even have a gf!!!?!@@###

soon it was evident that it was theory number 3, (although im sure theory 1 could also be applied) the doves bought the news that he has a gf and they have just moved in together over the last few weeks…
i just dont appreciate the inconsideration, even if he wanted to see me as a friend outside the work place freaking at least make that clear and freaking at least call u nong head. Nothing infuriates me more than loosers who dont think about anyone else but themselves.
If he never takes the time to apologise properly to me (that doesnt mean a phone call to say ‘oh im sorry, i was drunk’) then freak that… i’ll bag his head and stick a pole up his ass.