So ‘that’ time of year has come around again, where we all become a little risker, a little bit silly and probably a little bit fatter in the process. So before the festivities explode on the home front, the annual office parties have began. Last week I was an attendee of my department party, and let me just reiterate to ALL readers that I speak from experience when I say “Office Christmas parties are NOT a time to let your hair down.”
Everyone talks about it like it is a time to take off the tie, and kick off thoes high heels so everybody as a department can drink, laugh and party together into the early hours of the morning. Christmas parties lures us in with a false sense of security, with what seems like an unlimited tab at the bar. After a few drinks our prohibitions are left drapped on the chair along with our bags, and outter graments. It all starts going down hill when you start flirting with the most homosexual guy in your department. From there the momentum of the alcohol coupled with a distorted preception of the world sets us falling, falling into a deep, dark, embarrassing shit hole that people will remember forever.
Led is a manager in my department, and my love/hate affair with him has been ongoing since I first laid eyes on him. They say that the power to lust can equally turn into a power of hate, and either emotion can be felt with equal intensity. Sometimes I find his nature so damn irritating, and his arrogant mannerism dances around challanging me to punch him in the face. But then there are other times when the seductive look in his eyes, reel my easily forgiven and forgotten heart back into his territory. Anyways I rocked up to the party, and walked into the room with total confidence that I was the hottest thing there… even though physically my eyes couldnt see anything except light and dark patches (which I’m assuming were outlines of people and their short skirts) what I did notice was Led’s eyes were stuck onto me smiling ear to ear about (as I later found out) how good I looked, since I always rock up to work in trackies or really hobo clothes. My excessive alcohol intake gravitated me towards him, so what was initially a harmless conversation about how I do no work, or how I seem to be doing no work, grew into a conversation about how I thought of him like John Mayer? Well I cant be 100% sure of anything I said that night… the truth is my plan was to be stunning, win his heart, then reject him to laugh in his face quoting something along the lines “you think a girl like me would ever go out with a guy like you?” but obviously within the next few paragraphs readers will see how this plan not only deviated from its original but actually did a 360 and bit me on the ass.
The truth of the matter is the momentarily memory loss of the evening is probably more of a blessing than a burden. Even with the snapshots that I regain every now and again, I have to physically cover my face with my hands and laugh to myself… only because I dont know any other way to strangle the situation and rid it of any truth or life!
Can you imagine telling someone who has a head the size double that of the the Sahara dessert, that you think that they are special and hot and one in a million. There is even the possibility that I even told him that I think I’m in love with him. This is not true. I am not in love with him…. I find him irritatingly luring and unconventionally seductive but love? NO!!!! So now I’m stuck with this weight, where everytime he looks at me, he’ll think to himself “yeah bitch, you want this?”
To add insult to injury, throughout these moments of hell (for both parties I’m sure), he was talking about how in love he was with his gf, and how he knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. Really I dont give a rats ass, it felt as if he was rubbing it in my face, when I didnt even have the cake to begin with!!!!
I’m not into wishful thinking nor am I oblivious to the harshful truths of life, and considering most readers of this blog DO NOT know my true identity (and I doubt the people who know me on a somewhat personal level REALLY know me anyways), I would have no reason to lie or deceive the reader or myself for that matter, therefore anything I write here is either a vent, or my pure observations on life. I thought I had to say that, before I comment any further, just in case someone is reading this and thinking “yeah right!!!!?” at any point.
My objective observation to all this is that I think he really does like me, he flirts with me at work all the time, and I’m not the only one who sees this. He gives me these suggestive cute looks, and constantly teases me about trival things. Throughout our conversation at the christmas party, he kept gazing into my eyes…… and if there is only one feature on a guy that doesnt lie, its the eyes. So my hypothesis on this whole issue, as ‘cringe worthy (of a) performance’ as it was, I think he really likes me. I think he really wants to shagg me till I cannot shag anymore….but there is something there… his pride? his dignity? According to him…. ‘for who could ever learn to love a beast’ Again we have to examine the notion of unconventional. I am not the beauty, heck I’ve also been described as valguar and ‘un-ladylike’, so its not like I fit his ‘idea’ of a perfect woman….
After all that…. and after all the fun of flirting with someone who is seemingly unattainable only to realise that he is attainable, at least I know I am capitvating to him. That is enough to errode away the fun of office flirting, I am obviously to blame, and now I’m stuck, confined within these level 8 walls with no one to perve at and no one to flirt with….all because of 1 or 2 or even 3 drinks too much…
